A thought from Love & Logic. Sometimes I remember to say it like these examples, and it really works! (I especially like the 4th point*)
Take great care of yourself by setting limits without anger, lectures, threats, or repeated warnings. Instead of trying to reconstruct through strict discipline…or walk on eggshells by remaining an outsider, use Enforceable Statements to assertively describe how they will operate. Examples include:
*I'll listen when your voice is calm.
*I'll be happy to do the extra things I do for you when I feel respected.
*I'll get that for you when I see that you've finished your chores.
*I argue at six o'clock on Saturday mornings.
*I'll let you know about that after I talk with your dad (or mom).
*I'm fine with you having that as long as you have the money to pay for it.
For more ideas on setting limits with Enforceable Statements, study our CD, Love Me Enough to Set Some Limits.
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