Hit from every side

1. I picked up my oldest daughter Friday from the airport where she spent some time with some family. After she told me about the fun she'd had, she proceeded to share with me some feeling she had about my parenting and once again how to handle the younger siblings. I realize I don't take criticism well when my #1 job is under attack. I think I just turn into a mother bear. I realize also that the other times this has happened (other people who want to tell me what to do, since I'm just not getting it) I get very defensive. I've tried to calm down, catch my breath and admit that I don't do everything right. I admit though that I had to talk to someone that told me I was a good mother, someone I mothered. He made me feel much better. My husband likewise told me I am a good mother. He's such a great cheerleader for me! I went back and told her that I do value her opinion and would like to hear her ideas. She gave me a book to read, open mindedly, so we'll see what happens.
2. Another child proceeded to tell me that they have free agency and can do what they want. After much debate (mostly me listening to his justifications) he did decide to take some bad music off of his IPOD and go to church of his own free will.
3. And the last child had some papers out which I happened to glance at and caught a word or two about birth family and wanting to run away. I had to read more (which I got caught at) and was saddened by the things I read. I thought things were going steadily better. I realize as I've had time to think about it, that at this age all of my children have not liked home, nor me, but I was all they had. This time I compete with a fantasy birth mom who (in that fantasy) would have provided a better life. This is a new feeling I haven't had to deal with yet.
This is a hard job, but I have hope! My hubby and I both fasted for inspiration and guidance on how to handle each situation. I will try to listen and follow those promptings that will help us endure.